INDOOR 4 February 2004

IN THE SHITS

MASSIVE REACH NEWER, LOWER LOWS IN SOUL CRUSHING 3-4 LOSS THAT TAKES LOSING STREAK TO SEVEN IN A ROW

Green Staines Massive 3
Siemens 4
Goals- Tenger, Burty, Sav
Cards- Burty
Players- Burty, Tenger, MickyT, Sav, Metax, Leigh

It hurts. It really hurts.

TO ADD FUEL TO THE FIRE ABOUT QUESTIONS OF HOLINESS, RELIGION AND SO ON...

APPARENTLY TENGER IS GOD IN MONGOLIA.

AN INTERESTING CHOICE OF DIETY AMONG THOSE HAPPY MONGOL FOLK BUT I AM SURE THAT IF TENGER EVER WISHED TO VISIT THE ASIAN STATE THAT BORDERS NORTH CHINA AND SIBERIA HE WOULD BE MOST WELCOME.

HOWEVER, AT THE MASSIVE WE BELIEVE THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD, AND ALL OTHER GODS ARE FALSE PROPHETS.

TENGERS TALES

I was originaly quite impressed seeing the reports posted on your website from the Massive Euro-bureau.

But closer inspection exposses them as yet another woefully inacurate fabrication along the lines of the the Weeping Mary of Rockingham, The Shroud of Turin or Jesus.

The report refers to 'the Lord delivereth the 10 commandements to St John on the holy isle of Patmos'.

The Lord (if that is his real name) deliverd the shackles of human morality to Moses on the summit of Mount Sinai.

Beside that point there really is only one commandment that all Massive players need to follow,

"Thou shall understandeth the need for formation and thy position in it"

INDOOR 4 February 2004

HOW LOW CAN YOU GO

THE MASSIVE LOSE FIVE IN A ROW

Green Staines Massive 2
The Extraordinary Gentlemen 5
Goals - Leigh 2
Cards -
Players -Liam, Sav, Micky T, Leigh, Shaun, Taka, Tenger

The Massive lost its fifth game in a row at the hands of the Extraordinary Gentlemen 2-5 in the H-League last night.

The hardest thing to swallow is that they were up 2-0 and playing well and from that stage conceded five goals to nothing, in the end being soundly upstaged by a team they should of beaten.

Plenty of shots were taken by the Massive, but the finishing of some of the players, albeit the team as a whole has to be questioned.

The Massive were without Burty, and his creativity was sorely missed as the the Massive had the better control through midfield but mismanaged the penetration that Burty so often delivers.

It will now be hard for the Massive to qualify for the finals.

A SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE EURO BUREAU BY KIM DAVIS

I would like to provide you with some insight into your recent lack of form. No, actually, im just going to tell you what your doing wrong so you can change it and win.

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got, taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get aw... eeerr sorry about that... i really love that show. Ted Danson is so funny!

So, after rigorious statistical analysis and social profilling, Ihave the following revelations to deliver upon you, just as the Lord delivereth the 10 commandements to St John on the holy isle of Patmos

1. Thy has not lost a game in which thy has scored four or more

2. Only one from four has been won from scoring three

3. 0 from 3 for scoring two.

In short, complicated, religious terms - you lack firepower up front. The burden for scoring the teams goals is placed on to few to many and I would like to see more scoring options from midfield. The Massive appear to share the predicament of scouse scumbags Everton (under David Moyes); off to a flying start, only to fall down the ladder due to a lack of goals.

Your confidence is down, but your ability has not left you. That midfield engine needs to rev itself up and be prepared to make an aggresive scoring move when the option presents itself. Your leading goal scorer Leigh Josey may posses the same passion for his club as Wayne Rooney, but he will not be able to resist the lure of European football for ever. You need to come together as a unit and really push foward together.

I hope that these words will ignite the flames of victory for the Staines.

Good luck.

Kimbo